Life Update // In which Peter Pevensie is my spirit animal

So.  I was planning on writing a post about Twenty One Pilots (because they are alghslkgalgh *cries* so amazing I can't even) BUT apparently my emotions decided "NO MORE DEEP THOUGHTS AND POETRY AND BROKEN SAD REFLECTIONS FOR YOU"

my emotions literally

So, thanks to my ever-changing mood, I am too happy to sob over Tyler and Josh and their aggressive screamo ukulele piano rap music. 


Terribly sorry.  I can't help it.  Let's just say this happened and I stopped being Tyler and instantly switched to Josh mode somehow:


My brain decided to be Josh now so yes happyhappyhappy

SO TIME FOR A LIFE UPDATE.  WOOP WOOP.  I haven't done one of these in a while...


Exciting thing #1:  I have decided that Peter Pevensie is my spirit animal. 

I feel like this is basically the entire first movie right here.  Peter trying to be an adult and failing for the most part.  But he is also an oldest sibling with a bunch of younglings to look out for because RESPONSIBLITY OF THE ELDEST.  AND I FEEL THAT.  I can relate with Peter so much it's not even funny anymore.  If my sibs and I ended up in Narnia, I would probably repeat Peter's words/actions like a script and that look of "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME NO STOP CHILDREN I'M TRYING TO DO THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD AND I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANYTHING BUT I'M GONNA WING IT" 

But he is such an oldest sibling.  I can't even.  He talks like an oldest sibling, he acts like one, ALGHSLGH.  So many times books and movies don't get siblings right, BUT THEY NAILED IT HERE.  *applauds*


Also his sword.  Is epic. 

Exciting thing #2:  I SAW THE PLAY OF LES MISERABLES. 

Not the Broadway one, of course.  This was a teen theatre group, but don't let that fool you.  This cast.  Oh my word.  They sang and acted as good as--NO BETTER--than most Broadway casts I've heard.  THE KID WHO PLAYED JEAN VALJEAN (who was like 19 years old) sounded like Hugh Jackman crossed with Alfie Boe and and and....I don't even know anymore. 

The rest of the cast was equally brilliant.  Especially Enjolras.  He was PERFECT.  PERFECT, I TELL YOU.  He was blond and blue-eyed (YES they got that right) and he was like an Aaronjolras Jr. because he walked, talked, sang, and had that fiery revolutionary grimness about him.  (Apologies for my terrible descriptions.  My words aren't working today.)


Here is a pic of the barricade under attack:

isn't it perfect...

The Thenardiers were amazing.  They definitely used the movie version as a model, because Thenardier was like Sacha Baron Cohen on steroids and it was hilarious. 


Gavroche was...wow.  I actually know the kid who played him, he was in a few shows in my theatre group, but I had never seen him act this good before.  His death scene was so good and realistic for an 8 year old kid.  I feel so untalented now. 


Okay.  So because I haven't seen the play before, I had no idea how different Empty Chairs At Empty Tables was from the movie.  I mean, the movie version of that song was sad, and I teared up, but when I saw the play version.  Oh my goodness.  I was crying so hard when all the Barricade Boys came out behind Marius, all happy and everything, then holding the candles. 

I don't think there was a dry eye in the whole auditorium at the end, and this was a YOUTH GROUP.  I didn't think that a cast of non-professional teens and kids could get me so into the story that I was bawling my eyes out at the ending.  It was so good though.  And then people were trying to talk to me afterwards and I couldn't talk to them because then I'd start crying again.  Does that ever happen to you?

Exciting Thing #3:  I started a new series and IT IS AMAZINGGGGGG. 

I saw this book at my library bookstore and because I am a magnet drawn to pretty covers, I HAD to buy this.  Because a) THE COVER IS SO BEAUTIFUL I CAN'T EVEN and b) it's obviously about my most favorite animal in the world, white tigers, and I love white tigers with the fierce love of a mother armadillo so. 


It collected dust on my TBRTP (To Be Read: Top Priority) shelf for weeks and weeks (because my Top Priority shelf isn't really 'top priority' I just try to trick myself into thinking that it is because I have literally no motivation whatsoever) and then a friend asked me if I had read that book and I said "OH I HAVE THAT. I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT BOOK.  I MUST READ IT"


So I did.  Even though I had more important things to be doing.

I regret nothing.  It is such an amazing, captivating, beautiful book.  ABOUT WHITE TIGERS AND CHIVALROUS, HANDSOME PRINCES AND BROTHERS AND INDIA AND MYTHOLOGY AND ROMANCE AND DANGER AND it's perfect.  Perfect, I tell you. 


If you haven't read it, you must.  I insist.  Do it now.  Shoo.


Exciting thing #4:  I watched "Interstellar" and decided that it is one of the greatest films ever made.  I CRIED HARDER FOR THAT THAN I HAD FOR LES MISERABLES.  It was so sad and sweet and my feels ugh.  It was the best father/daughter story I had ever seen.  I love stories like that, and this one was so ingenious and amazing and destroyed my feels.  Also now I want to be an astronaut again.  I never stopped wanting to be an astronaut, but when I was 9 my mom took me to NASA and ever since I wanted to be an astronaut.  Watching "Doctor Who", "Gravity", and "Interstellar" only made me want to go to space even more. 


This also was what inspired us (COUGH me) to randomly yell "MATT DAMON" at people because I really have no idea why.  But Matt Damon was in that movie so I blame that. 


Well that's all for this post....I know there were other exciting things I was going to share with y'all, but I forgot what they were. 


Bye, y'all. 

Who is your spirit animal?  Isn't Peter Pevensie amazing?  HAVE YOU SEEN THE PLAY OF LES MISERABLES.  Have you read The Tiger's Curse and if not why aren't you reading it right now?  Do you want to be an astronaut, too?

Stay alive, for me

I was going to write a big huge post about my feels for Twenty One Pilots and how much I love them, but I'm too tired so instead here is my latest and greatest fanart that I know you humans are all dying to see. 

The other night, a friend and I spontaneously decided to have a draw-off thing.  I don't know what it was exactly.  We both drew a tribute to Twenty One Pilots and what they meant to us, personally.  As you can see, this is my tribute fanpic. 

I put a lot of emotion into this drawing, which is unusual for me.  Usually I don't like doing deep meanings and symbolism and more subtle ideas in my drawings, but I decided to go out on a limb here.  I wanted to make my drawing feel like a Twenty One Pilots song.  I wanted to draw out all the emotion and the messages and put onto the paper. 

I don't consider this one of my best, though, technicalities-wise.  I literally drew this within 4 hours, which is a record for me.  Thus, I was drawing really fast and not paying as much attention to details. 

But the feeling is there, I think.  And that's all that matters.  This drawing is an attempt for me to explain what TOP means to me and I think I captured that very well.

I'll leave you with a couple of my current favoritest Twenty One Pilots songs. 

Do you love Twenty One Pilots?  What do they mean to you?

God's Love

 

There is Someone I love, Someone dear to my heart,

Someone who loves me more than I deserve.

More than life.

An immortal God gave His life for me

Out of love for me.

 

There is Someone who loves me, who gave up so much.

He didn't have to die or suffer.

But He saw me in sin

And He came down to earth and became human

Out of love for me.

 

There is Someone I live for, and would gladly die for,

The God that died on the cross for me.

He gave me a second chance

And He suffered so that I might share eternal joy with Him

Out of love for me.

 

There is Someone I love, more than anything else,

The God that created Heaven and Earth.

People may scoff

But I smile because I know that God is there

Out of love for me.

 

There is Someone who loves me, who loves all of humanity,

Even though we continuously fall again and again.

He picks us back up,

The God that suffered and died

Out of love for me.

 

There is Someone who is love itself, love's own creator,

The God that came to teach us love.

We killed him for it.

But He forgives us and never gives up on us

Out of love for us.

 

There is Someone who loves you, never forget that,

He gladly embraced His cross for you;

The ultimate sacrifice of love.

And He never stops wanting you to love Him back

Out of love for you.

 

There is Someone who's waiting for you, waiting so patiently,

How can you turn your back on Him?

Who else could love you more?

Open your heart and say "I am yours, oh my Lord"

Out of love for Him.

 

 

I was reading the Psalms today.  Sitting in front of Our Lord in Adoration, my Bible on my lap and my head bowed as I soaked in the words of that beautiful, inspirational poetry about our God.  Honestly, I don't think you can find words anywhere more beautiful than the Psalms. 

 

The Psalms speak the cry in our hearts and put into words the deep longing we have for the Lord.  The Psalms rejoice, comfort, guide, and strengthen us in our Faith. 

 

It's really amazing to think about how much God loves us. 

 

He died for you.  For YOU. 

 

 

He came to pay a debt He did not owe,

 because we owed a debt we could not pay.

 

 

Our world is a messed up place.  The idea of love has been so twisted and perverted that our society doesn't even know the meaning of love anymore.  Just look around you, at the magazines, at the insanity and shallowness and evil that has been disguised as love. 

 

Then look at this man on the cross. 

 

We can't lose sight of what love really, truly is.  Love isn't about taking for yourself, it's about giving everything to someone else.  Love is a sacrifice, not selfish gratification. 


Sometimes I look at the world and it's confusion and it's enough to make me give up hope for humanity. 


Then I realized something. 


If we want the world to be a better place, then it's up to US to make it better.  We have to be that good example, we had to be the evangelizers and missionaries for Him, and we have to reteach all those things that somehow, our world has lost.  We can't sit around bewailing the fate of our society.  It's our duty to take a stand because if we don't, no one will. 


I have firm faith that my generation, YOUR generation, will change the world. 


And maybe, by following Christ's example, perhaps we can teach the world, once again, to love.


Are you as amazed as I am about how much Christ loves us? 



May they rest in peace...

Once again, a city has been attacked and once again, people have been killed.  Not a month after the terrible tragedy of the Orlando shooting, now France has once again been attacked, this time by shooters in Nice during the Bastille Day celebration. 


First there was the Orlando shootings, the worst mass shooting by a single gunman in U.S. history, and then there was another mass shooting, this time in the Istanbul Ataturk Airport.  Before we could recover from the shock of these two terrible events, then a sniper in my own home-state shot and killed our police officers. 


Now this.  One shocking, terrible, sad attack after another.  Everyone is on edge, wondering where they will strike next, and when.  Nothing like this has happened before in our times and not only are we afraid, but angry.


What's going on with our world? 


If there was ever a time for prayer, it would be now. 


To everyone involved in these shootings, we're praying for you and for your families and the loved ones you lost.  We're devastated for your losses and we weep with you and pray with you as we pray for you and for them. 

Eternal rest grant unto them, Oh Lord,

and let perpetual light shine upon them.

May the souls of the Faithful departed

through the mercy of God

Rest in peace, Amen.

In Which Series Endings Disappoint Me // 3 Reasons Why I Didn't Like Winter

If you haven't read a) The Lunar Chronicles or b) Winter yet, then PLEASE BACK AWAY AND AVERT YOUR EYES BECAUSE THIS POST SHALL BE FULL OF SPOILERS.

You have been warned. 


In the past year, I've noticed my tastes have changed regarding books.  I've gotten picker as my selection has grown wider.  


Recently, I've been doing something I've never EVER EVER EVER done before....I'm finding myself unable to finish more and more books.  And not only do I not finish them, but I don't even get halfway through.  Usually the reason is because I was bored or irritated with the characters or just not getting into the writing style or something like that, but STILL. 

AND MOST OF THEM WERE HIGHLY ACCLAIMED BOOKS THAT BOOK BLOGGERS AND OTHER HUMANS HAVE RAVED ABOUT INCESSANTLY.  (Don't ask for titles because I can't remember them.  I have the memory span of a hamster, okay.)


So my pickiness has resulted in a lot of disappointment in books.  Especially series endings.  Authors almost never get series endings right, and it irks me to no end. 


How a book series should end example #1:  EVERYONE DIES AND THERE IS LOTS OF TEARS AND SUFFERING AND SADNESS AND YOUR HEART IS BROKEN.  (i.e. Les Miserables....*cough*)


How a book series should end example #2:  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER EXCEPT THE VILLAINS WHO DIE A SATISFYINGLY TERRIBLE DEATH AND THE MAIN CHARACTERS GET MARRIED AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY.  HUZZAH.  DRINKS ALL AROUND.


I mean, if you're going to resolve a series, THEN DO IT LIKE A BOSS.  Don't be hesitant about it; scream the resolution into your reader's face and make it super sad or super happy YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T EVEN CARE JUST MAKE IT SATISFYINGLY RESOLVING. 


Too often what I get instead is a really bland, limp noodle of an ending that is usually very confusing as to what the characters are even doing and why are they doing that, that is SO out of character for them!  No one is brave enough to propose and no one is brave enough to die, and it's rather boring. 

I WANT CHARACTERS TO DIE, OKAY.  After a series in which everyone miraculously stays intact and alive, the ending needs some death.  My Sherlock-the-high-functioning-sociopath side wants MURDER AND TEA AND PEOPLE JUMPING OFF OF ROOFTOPS TO SAVE THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE. 

Is that really too much to ask for? 


Unfortunately, authors as a rule don't cater to that kind of bloodthirsty reader, I've noticed.  Except for Victor Hugo, and he's dead.


So let's talk about the most disappointing series ending I've read so far.  (Keep in mind it's been about a month since I've read it, so I've forgotten some of it and so parts of what I'm ranting about might be wrong.  So apologies for that.)


Winter by Marissa Meyer

LOOKIT HOW GORGEOUS THE COVER IS THOUGH *SQUEEEEE*

Reason why I didn't like it #1:  The rest of the books in this series were AMAZING.  The plot was sound as could be and perfectly and insanely awesome, the characters were relatable and lovable and adorable, and the story rattled along nicely like an old roller coaster plummeting down a perilous track while we readers hung on for dear life.  (Not the best example but still.) 

So when I finally got Winter, I was expecting the same feel and tone.  Marissa Meyer had instituted a certain feel to the rest of the books, so I was really let down when this book felt TOTALLY DIFFERENT.  It was blander, and slower, and felt like nothing much was happening. 


Granted, it was also like 800 pages long, but STILL.  THIS WAS THE EPIC FINALE AND I WAS EXPECTING THE APPROPRIATE EPICNESS. 


Instead of an epic "going out with a bang" ending, it was more of a "meh" ending.  And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a "meh" ending.


Reason why I didn't like I #2:  The ending didn't feel resolved.  Like, AT ALL.  With all the copious amounts of cliffhangers in the previous books, I thought they were building up to some catastrophic and amazing ending!  But...they weren't. 

Nothing really changed.  The book ended and no one had died except for the evil queen and some innocent bystanders and revolutionaries and evil soldiers.  THERE WERE LIKE 9 MAIN CHARACTERS.  9.  NOT ONE OF THEM DIED.  THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.


Also, like all of them were in love with each other and only like ONE of them actually proposed...I think.  The proposals were very vague.  Then the other half of the couples were just like "Oh yeah, let's just keep going like this...maybe we'll start dating sometime later in the future....idk...s'all cool..."


WHAT.  NO.  NO NO NO.  I WANT RESOLUTION, NOT WATERY WIMPY INDECISIONS. 

KAI.  YOU LOVE CINDER, SO WHY ARE YOU WAITING??  YOU'VE JUST SPENT THE PAST 3 BOOKS SEARCHING FOR YOUR TRUE LOVE AND NOW YOU'RE BACKING OFF?  COME ON.  YOU'VE MARRIED HER AUNT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD AND NOW YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO MARRY THE GIRL YOU LOVE.


*breaks things*


Sorry.  I just have really strong feelings about this. 


No one got married, no one died, nothing really changed.  It was quite the anti-climax.


Reason why I didn't like it #3:  The past three books had all been fairytale reminiscent with starships and captives in satellites and magnificent balls and cute romances, and that touch seemed to be lacking in this book.  This one was more about war and dethroning and starting revolutions and such.  It reminded me more of a Hunger Games book then a Lunar Chronicles book, honestly.


Don't get me wrong, I love the "uprising/revolution/overthrow the evil ruler" books, but this just didn't fit. 


Cinder is not a ruler.  She is a mechanic who is in love with the emperor.  Cinder's whole character seems to change when she goes into Heir-to-the-throne-of-Lunar mode, and I don't like it.

So those are my biggest issues with Winter.  Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE The Lunar Chronicles!  They are one of my favoritest books in the galaxy.  It's just, the final book wasn't my favorite at all.  I still loved it, but I didn't LOVE it.  It made me a disappointed armadillo. 


But it's probably just me, because I have lots of friends who read it and LOVED it!  Maybe my expectations are just too high. 


Also, I think that while some authors can build up to the climax perfectly and it's like an atomic bomb of feels and tears and satisfaction, others get intimidated by the amount of pressure that is put on them from fans.  I think fans play a big part in how a series ends.  We establish theories, ships, and basically clamor to the author in masses that if so-and-so doesn't do so-and-so or if he DIES (heaven forbid), we shall all be sad and never read that author's writing ever again.  And authors don't like disappointing people.


So in the end, EVERYONE is let down.  In other words: DON'T BE A PEOPLE-PLEASER.  WRITE A FANTABULOUSLY HEARTCRUSHING ENDING OR MAKE IT MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A FAIRY WEDDING AND I SHALL BE A HAPPY ARMADILLO.


What do you think?  Are you ever disappointed by series endings?  Did you like Winter or did you have problems with it, too?

Let's Talk Books

Books

Living stories bound between two covers

Worlds that exist beneath the surface of paper

Portals to another universe

Skin-changers

Books are the greatest magic trick of them all

 

Books

Bigger on the inside, so big you can get lost forever

They help you live another life, walk in someone else’s shoes

Forget the dreary, humdrum world

Live

Books are rescue ships that take you far, far away

 

Books

You will never be lonely if you have books

They always are there for you, your faithful friends

The people in them are real, it’s your secret

Friends

Books are the best friends a person could ever have

 

Books

They are a home when you need a place to stay

They are shelters for when you need a place to escape

A hideaway for when you want to run away

Stay

Books are where you live

 

Books

When no one else understand you or cares

You can become someone else and live in their world

An escape and a remedy all at once

Healing

Books are the best self-help you could ever have

 

Books

So much knowledge enclosed between two covers

They fuel your thirst, you come back for more and more

And the cycle repeats itself and you learn

Information

Books are the most patient teachers

 

Books

When the world is dark and terrifying

And you don’t want to talk and be judged by people

Books are there for you

Love

Books are a part of me, they helped to form me

 

Books

From the moment I smelled your pages

And stroked your well-worn cover with a smile

I knew it was love at first sight

Fate

Books are the companions of my dreams

 

Books

We only get one life in this world

But in books you live a thousand lives and come back in time for tea

They are life and death and insanity all at once

Immortality

Books are the answer to living forever

This is a poem I wrote about my ongoing love affair with books.  I can honestly say, ever since I was little, books have been my most cherished mentors and friends.  I wouldn't be the person I am today if it hadn't been for books. 

People can help shape you, and so can film and music and art and God.  But words...words are powerful.  While music and art affect us through our senses, and God through our souls, words connect to our intellectual side and start the cogs in our heads turning, thinking, processing new ideas. 

Just think about it.  With only sheets of paper and 26 letters, we are transported into another dimension.  If that's not magic, I don't know what is. 

Books turned my life into a fairy tale and I believed it, even if it was only in my mind. 

Because books showed me how endless the worlds inside my head were, and when you have that, what else do you need? 

Do you love books, too?



Happy Independence Day!!!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! 


*fireworks and explosions*


I love the Fourth of July so much.  It's that one time of year that I feel so patriotic and proud of my country and state that I could cry.  Sometimes I do.  During the annual July 4th symphony, I get teared up during the Service Medley and National Anthem.  Speaking of which, have a video of Aaron Tveit singing the National Anthem.  Because why not.

So yes, I'm so proud of the USA and I love it with all my heart.  True, the government is quite a corrupt mess right now, but when are governments not?  The ideals that our Founding Fathers began with are what America is to me.  Not what it has become.  Americans are still good people who abide by those same ideals even if our leaders don't. 


The America that George Washington founded and our soldiers fought for is the America I know and love.  Honestly, there is nowhere on earth like the USA and as much as I would love to visit other countries, I would always come back home. 


And to her troops, and to all the soldiers, the men and women who have served the United States and sacrificed their lives for our freedom and peace, thank you.  I don't think we could ever thank you enough for what you do for us.  You have my everlasting respect and gratitude.


Yep.  I love the United States of America.  And by that, I mean Texas, of course.

Just kidding. 


Okay but not really.  If I haven't mentioned this before, I'm Texas born, Texas raised, and Texas proud and I ain't never gonna move anywhere else because this glorious state is my home and ever shall be.  Amen. 

Hehehehehehe.  Seriously though.  Texas is the greatest place on earth and yes, we are very proud of our guns and cowboy hats and barbeque.  Also it's like the friendliest place on earth.  Any Texan can tell you that.  We take patriotic love for country to Level: Enjolras. 

This wasn't supposed to be a bash-the-non-Texans post, so lemme just clarify that YOU GUYS ARE FANTASTIC, TOO AND JUST BECAUSE TEXAS IS THE BEST STATE IN THE USA DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. 


So yes.  I had a fantabulous Fourth of July.  (Seriously does everything get better when you turn 18??)


We had a big family get-together and went swimming while blasting country music--cause you GOTTA have country music on the Fourth.  It's just about as American as you can get--and had a glorious barbeque and got sunburnt because sunscreen is gross and I refuse to wear it.  Also it was like 104 degrees Fahrenheit so whew.  SUMMER IS UPON USSS. 


So after that we watched Mel Gibson's "The Patriot".  Lemme say a few words about that film.  YOU WILL CRY.  Also it's very patriotic.  And SPOILER: everyone you love dies. 


To quote my mom, "Doesn't Mel Gibson just play the coolest characters ever?  He's always so COOL in his movies."

It's so true though.  Mel Gibson is just so insanely cool.  He has those slo-mo shots of him running off to fight bravely and you're just like, "Woah, I will never look that cool.  Ever.  Nope."


ANYWAY.  So the villain in the film, this fellow who's name I still don't know:

I can easily say I have never hated a villain this much.  This guy.  Is pure evil.  PURE EVIL, I TELL YOU.  You know, most villains seem to be misunderstood or have a sympathetic, good side to them BUT NOT HERE.  No this guy is the devil and I was rooting for his demise during the whole film right after that part where Thomas.....*stumbles off to cry in a corner*


Then after all of that, my family went and we watched the big huge fireworks show and that was exciting because apparently they had misjudged stuff and not only did they have the biggest fireworks I've ever seen in my life, but they were too close to the ground and so the show was called off halfway through because a house caught on fire or something.  Oops. 


So it was all terribly exciting and awesome. 


And then of course, I sang Hamilton and introduced my cousin to Hamilton and randomly screamed "LAFAYETTE" all day and it was fun.

LONG LIVE AMERICA!  The land of the free, and the home of the brave.

Did you have a fantabulous Fourth of July?